Sunshine and the Wer

The next few posts are dedicated to our friend Sunshine.

One night, early on in our stay in Lanshan, we found ourselves having to fend for ourselves foodwise. So, armed with little phrasebook with handy 'menu-reader' we went to a small cafe near the hotel and attempted to order. Our waitress spoke very little english, but with the help of the phrasebook, which she kept with her all evening we managed to order some food. I can't really call it a meal - that gives the impression of some sort of orderly eating process. Ours couldn't have been further from that if we'd tried. First of all we managed to order a plate of cucumber salad, which was followed by a hamburger and two big bowls of rice, next came some pork dish, followed by two banana splits and another hamburger... It was a mess, but what did come out of all this chaos was our first friendship outside of school. Our waitress introduced herself as Sunshine (or Zhong Yang as her chinese name) and asked if she could chat with us to practice english. We were more than happy and learnt some chinese from her too. We exchanged phone numbers and arranged to meet again.

One of the next times we did meet was early one sunday morning, after a particularly heavy night with some teachers the day before. We met up in a supermarket and after a drink we enlisted Sunshine's help in a little shopping.

Lanshan is a small town by chinese standards. It isn't near any other big cities and there are certain things which just aren't available here. One such thing, I found out, is deodorant. Nowhere to be found. Of course, I hadn't brought enough with me, so had by now run out. As a last ditch attempt, I asked Sunshine to speak to some of the shop assistants who were following us around if they had any. They searched around for a few minutes then produced a tiny little box with a small bottle inside and proclaimed it to be deodorant.

Well, I really didn't think it would be, but at 3 yuan, whatever. I bought it. It was only when we got home that I found out exactly what it really was.

Just in case you can't read the english instructions in the picture above, I'll write them here.

" Function: to cure hircus, body sweat oder. beriberi, the wer and itching scrotum."

Well, one of those is along the lines of what I was looking for. I don't think I'm suffering from hircus, beriberi or, God forbid, the wer. I certainly was not guilty of an itchy scrotum. I just can't help thinking what must have gone through poor Sunshine's mind when I apparently asked her for itchy scrotum cream!