The Curse of MacDonalds

Hey again.

After that pretty 'interesting' week, I had an wicked weekend. After everything that had gone on, Friday was such a relief and both Anthony and I really felt the need to get out and do something.

So, Friday night. What to do on a Friday night in Lanshan?

Not much.

We went and hung out at a pretend MacDonalds. Man I felt like I was 14...

A few weeks ago this place called 'Happy Tom' opened up in town. It's a 'western' restaurant chain and all the teachers were raving about it, trying to get us to go. We walked past once and it seriously is the most audacious rip-off of Maccy Ds that I have ever seen - even down to the clown in the window. Pretty funny to be honest. We've sampled some of these small town 'western' restaurants. The only one that resembled 'actual food' kept me within spitting distance of a toilet for about 3 days and the rest serve the lowest quality greasy fast food possible.

So funnily enough we weren't all that keen to go.

Still, that Friday Anthony had a craving for coffee and ice-cream, and the only place that may serve either of those things here was going to be 'Happy Tom'. There was something strangely comforting about being in such a familiar environment. I could have been in any country so as long as you didn't look outside at the old women burning their rubbish in the streets then it was alright. They didn't do coffee, but the ice-cream was pretty nice. It wasn't purple, or bright green, and didn't taste of popcorn either(we've had some bad previous experiences with ice-cream here). Yeah, nice.

Gradually I began to become aware that the place was starting to fill up, whereas it had been empty when we walked in. And everyone was eating ice-cream. I started to look around and thought to myself 'I'm sure that person just walked past...and that one...and that one'. I began to watch the people going by outside and noticed a fair few more who clocked us, did a double-take, walked a few paces on, then turned back and came in to order ice-cream!! We should have been getting paid!! Damn straight!

It would have been pretty sad to hang about in the pretend MacDonalds all night, so after a little while we ventured further in search of what looked like a bar, which we had glimpsed at one point in the past. We found it. 'Soho Bar'. The name gave it away really. We had been successful in finding what we believe to be the only bar in Lanshan. It would have been rude not to have gone in. It looked a little dodgy from the outside but inside it was pretty cool. It was small - about half the size of my apartment - and almost empty, but it was 'normal'. Now that's something! We had a couple of beers, drank them at our own pace and relaxed.

It was outstanding. A real night out. We were home before 11pm, but that's just the way it goes here. The point is, we went out and found entertainment that didn't involve rice wine, ladies of negotiable affection or KTV!!

The rest of the weekend continued in that relaxed and pleasant way. I went and bought an electric heater for my apartment cos it has got bloody freezing here now. Somewhere between 1 and 4 degrees apparently and with no heating ANYWHERE. My air conditioner which also blows out hot air just couldn't compete anymore. The lightbulbs dimmed every time I switched it on, and seeing as we had power cuts almost every day last week, something more economical on the juice seemed a good idea! So I spent many hours in my one warm and cosy room watching episodes of Battlestar Galactica on my Ipod. Perfect picture quality. I love that little thing. PS. link of the week is www.pandora.com - this is an ace music website. Type in the name of your favourite artist and it'll produce a radio show featuring artists similar to that which you typed in. Doesn't work too well on my crappy computer but the concept is genius. Take a look.

I played a couple of hours of ping pong, a couple more of badminton and I swear I am getting good at both now. The Chinese are ping pong masters and everyone from kitchen staff to department heads have been giving me pointers on how to improve my game. It shows, but there's still a long way to go. I was playing against some random lad and thought I was doing pretty well, until I swapped with one of the guys who's been coaching me. The two of them had that ball hurtling round at the speed of light. Amazing.

My badminton is also getting pretty good. I'm learning how to play Chinese kung-fu style! My teacher Mr Peng is an ex-kung-fu kid and he applies all those principles to badminton. It's not as crazy as it sounds, but he does spin through the air sometimes to take shots...

This Sunday after a morning of badminton he said he'd like to go out to a western restaurant for lunch so I could teach him how to eat western food. I knew this could only mean Happy Tom, but hey, whatever. He turned up at my apartment half an hour later all dressed up in a suit as if he were going to a wedding. He seemed surprised that I was just in trainers and shabby jeans. I thought then that this could only be one big let down for him. Putting all past associations with food poisoning aside, I took him to the 'classier' western restaurant, but it was shut, so Happy Tom it was! Bless him, it was like watching a baby when they're trying to figure out the world by tasting bits of it. He picked up a french fry with apprehension, looked at it carefully, sniffed it, dipped it cautiously into the ketchup and slowly put it in his mouth. I couldn't help but laugh. It was as if he'd just bitten into a lemon, he pulled such a face. The burger was just the same. It was hilarious. He came to the conclusion that he didn't like western food and I had to go through the whole rigmarole of explaining that this wasn't 'real' western food, that we don't normally eat this crap and that proper food is very different and much nicer. Unfortunately for him it's also a 7 hour bus ride away. MacDonalds has a lot to answer for.

(BTW. I know it's hypocritical to slag off MacDonalds when I ate there just a month ago, but hey, I'm weak.)